Lisa used to be an optimist. She loved morning walks, journaling, and sipping tea while watching the sunrise. But somewhere along the way, she got hooked—not on a drug or alcohol, but on negativity.
It started slowly: instead of a morning walk, she’d scroll through the news first thing in the morning, absorbing every tragic headline, every political fight, every celebrity scandal. Her brain fired up, her heart racing, feeding her thoughts that the world was a negative place. She told herself she was staying informed, but deep down, she felt something else—excitement, a rush, a dopamine hit.
She stopped her morning walks and would pick up her phone upon waking for fear of missing any of the latest news headlines.
At work, Lisa started to thrive on gossip. If there was office drama, she wanted the details. She’d listen, nod, and pretend to be sympathetic, but inside, she felt a thrill when someone else failed. It wasn’t that she wanted terrible things to happen—at least, that’s what she told herself—it was just more interesting than the boring routine of daily life.
By the time she got home, she was drained. But instead of unwinding, she doom-scrolled. Every post that triggered outrage and every comment section full of arguments gave her another hit. She’d even refresh the identical posts, hoping for new replies, a new fight to witness. She wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t bored either; doom-scrolling felt like a calming action. And somehow, being miserable felt productive.
One day, Lisa attended a work event with new faces and fresh conversations. As usual, she gravitated and enjoyed sharing gossip and the latest negative headlines, finding satisfaction in the engagement. People nodded, chimed in, and seemed interested—just like in the office. At one point, she excused herself to the restroom. As she stepped into a stall, laughter echoed outside, followed by hushed voices.
"Did you talk to that woman? The one who’s just so negative?" one of them said.
"Oh, Lisa? Yeah, she’s exhausting. It’s like she thrives on bad news."
Lisa froze. A sinking feeling washed over her. They were talking about her.
She felt exhausted yet restless. She knew they were right; she was negative. Why couldn’t she stop? Why did negativity feel so good, even though it made her feel so bad?
Because her brain had learned to seek it out. Every outrage, every complaint, every argument—it all triggered dopamine: a reward, a reinforcement. And just like junk food tricks the brain into craving empty calories, negative stimuli hijacked her dopamine system.
That night, Lisa couldn’t shake what she’d overheard at the party. Negativity was everywhere—at work, on the news, in casual conversations—but she wasn’t just part of it; she was fueling it. The more she fed into it, the more it fed back into her. The realization hit hard—negativity breeds negativity, and she had become trapped in the cycle.
After a sleepless night and another day of gossip and negative talk at work, she started to see how negative she was, and those surrounding her fed into that negativity. She remembered how she used to feel, enjoying walks in nature and starting her day positively. When she got home that night, instead of reaching for her phone to doom-scroll, she left it in another room and picked up an old book. At first, it felt dull—no drama, no outrage—but a different kind of satisfaction settled in as she turned the pages.
It didn’t happen overnight, but she started making changes. Morning walks replaced gossip and news updates. Gratitude journaling replaced late-night scrolling. Slowly, she began craving real dopamine—the kind that came from joy, creativity, and connection, not negativity.
Feeding into negativity can be addictive, and a big part of that addiction comes from the dopamine hit your brain gets from engaging in drama, outrage, or self-pity. It’s the same neurotransmitter that drives pleasure and motivation, so scrolling through negative news, engaging in arguments, allowing negative people in your life, or indulging in self-destructive thoughts can feel oddly satisfying—even when it’s not good for you.
Negativity fuels a stress response that releases cortisol, making you feel on edge. Still, the momentary validation or sense of righteousness (even if it’s just internally) triggers dopamine, reinforcing the cycle.
Breaking free from it means recognizing and disrupting the pattern with something that gives you a better dopamine hit.
Here are a few ways to shift out of negativity:
Awareness & Reframing – Notice when you're spiraling into negativity. Ask: Is this serving me? Is this person feeding me with positive conversation, or are they negatively dumping on me, fueling me with gossip, judgment, and hatred? Instead of indulging, challenge yourself to find a constructive or neutral perspective, or simply walk away.
Mindful Consumption—If the negativity is coming from news or social media, limit exposure. Replace it with uplifting content or things that inspire you. Pick up an educational, positive book or fictional uplifting novel. Listen to positive podcasts or uplifting videos.
Healthy Dopamine Boosters – Exercise, nature walks, creative activities, meditation, or even listening to music can create dopamine without the stress response.
Gratitude Practice – It sounds cliché, but actively shifting your focus to what’s good retrains your brain over time. Upon waking, think of three things you are grateful for and repeat them to yourself throughout the day. It also helps to take deep breaths as you repeat these to yourself.
Connection with Positive People – Surrounding yourself with those who uplift and inspire you instead of those who thrive on drama and negative dump on you makes a huge difference.
It’s a detox process, but once you break the cycle, you’ll notice how much lighter and freer you feel. You will start to notice that gossiping and speaking negatively no longer feels right. Taking one step daily leads to many steps a week, then a month. Be the change; you have this.
Disclaimer:
The names, characters, and stories in this blog are either fictional or used for illustrative purposes. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or any other mental health condition, or if you are in an unsafe situation, please seek professional help. Many compassionate and skilled professionals, including therapists, counselors, and medical practitioners, can provide the support and care you deserve. Additionally, excellent charities and organizations are dedicated to helping individuals through difficult times.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or crisis, please contact a trusted professional, call a helpline, or seek medical assistance. You are not alone, and help is available.
Copyright Notice:
The use of this article is restricted without written permission from Wend Cole. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or use of this content is strictly prohibited. For inquiries regarding usage rights, don't hesitate to get in touch with Wend Cole directly.
Comments